Kiss Me Deadly (1955)

Is that plutonium in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Sometimes you're just sitting around, watching a perfectly normal movie when something absolutely bizarre happens. Kiss Me Deadly has a moment that seriously punches you upside the head with confusion. From that moment on, the movie is a frantic, confusing journey towards a, literally, explosive finish. Kiss Me Deadly is a total anomaly for me. There is something quite intriguing about it's traditional film noir structure, and doubly intriguing about it's wacky plot twist, but for some reason the movie still left me less than satisfied.

Kiss Me Deadly has most of the classic film noir elements and a few surprises of it's own. The hardboiled detective Mike Hammer, yes that is his real name, picks up a frantic women in the middle of nowhere and finds himself caught up in some sort of sinister plot. The women is murdered and Mike Hammer decides to try and solve the case. At some point, he finds the arc of the covenant and stuff starts to explode. The film features a lot of no names, but it was the film debut for Cloris Leachman. The film was generally praised in it's time, but has slowly but surely gained acclaim as one of the more important films of it's genre. At the very least, it's plot twists make it one of the more unique entires in classic film noir.

What works in Kiss Me Deadly is the generally good performances and the snappy dialog. The film features a very solid ensemble cast with Ralph Meeker and Maxine Cooper giving admirably performances. Unfortunately, there are also some really obnoxious performances, such as Mike's mechanic friend who is a walking, annoying stereotype. This, along with the really eye-catching plot twist make the movie generally enjoyable to watch, but in the end, the movie is more confusing than anything else. I am all for a movie that leaves questions unanswered, but Kiss Me Deadly is kind of a disaster in the plot development nightmare. The movie leaves lots of loose ends and the finale of the film feels entirely rushed. As memorable as the closing minutes of the film are, they are marred by the sense that the filmmakers simply ran out of run time to explain some important story elements.

I'm still not sold on classic film noir. While there are some things I enjoy, like the rampant sexism, the movies are, overall, kind of dull. Kiss Me Deadly is not a bad movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it's also not the most exciting two hours of film making I have seen. Is it worthy to be on the list? Sure, but the film does little for me in the long run. At the very least, it kept me engaged for it's run-time even if it didn't try to answer many of the questions that kept my interest.

7/10

Zombieland (2009)

Zombies have overrun the world, but the power is still on.

When Shaun of the Dead came out in 2004, most people probably wrote it off as a lone entry into the zombie/comedy genre. Little did we know that the movie would reinvigorate the world's love from zombies and send them back, close to, the Hollywood mainstream. Shaun of the Dead wasn't the first time zombies and laughs had been put together and, thankfully, it's not the last. Zombieland, the latest success in the world of walking dead comedy, is a absolute blast for zombie lovers and a genuinely funny movie.

The world is overrun by zombies and some people don't really want to die yet. Zombieland's set up is typical for a zombie film, but the survivors, led by Woody Harrelson, are a little different this time around. The offbeat group of survivors must make it across the country to California, in hopes that there is a place that they walking dead haven't taken over. The film marks director Ruben Fleischer's debut and was surprisingly successful with critics and audiences across the country. While the movie may not be the best film to blend zombies and comedy, it's certainly a fantastic entry to the genre and one that shouldn't be missed.

Zombieland's strengths are easy to see. The movie has an exceptionally quirky sense of humor that is strongly bolstered by some quirky performances, especially by Harrelson. If you've ever read The Zombie Survival Guide, you should know what to expect from Zombieland. The same sort of semi-serious zombie humor that is present in the book is here in the movie. What is surprising, is the sincerity that the movie has. There is something surprisingly genuine and touching about this group of rejects. In this fashion, the film succeeds in much of the same way that Shaun of the Dead succeeds.

I don't know if my love for Zombieland is a result of my unhealthy love for zombies or if it's because the movie is actually good. Personally, I think it's a combination of both. While the movie may not be the revelation that Shaun of the Dead is, it is a movie that stands on it's own as a completely satisfying experience. There's something to be enjoyed  her regardless of how you feel about zombies.

8/10

Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)

Godzilla jet pack powers activate!

Godzilla vs. Hedorah, A.K.A Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster,  is something of an anomaly as far as Godzilla movies go. By 1971, the franchise was more than ten years old and the last time that a Godzilla film had an overt agenda was Mothra vs. Godzilla in 1954. At this point, the series was also declining in popularity and quality. Godzilla vs. Hedorah signaled a radical shift for the series, one that showed legitimate promise if it had been continued, and it stands as one of the most unique and enjoyable entires in the series.

In the waters of Japan something horrible is growing. A organism from space lands in Japan, starts feeding on pollution and grows into the terrible monster Hedorah. Hedorah takes hits from Japan's industrial smog bong and  becomes an unstoppable force. It's up to Godzilla and the people of Japan to tag team the smog monster and save the world from it's horrid stench. Godzilla vs. Hedorah was the first, and only, film for director Yoshimitsu Banno. The long time producer of the series was hospitalized during the entire filming of the film and he was so appalled by what he saw. He promptly banned Banno from the series forever and canceled production on a sequel. Why exactly Banno was banned is a mystery to me. Godzilla vs. Hedorah is the first legitimately unique entry in the series and one of the most enjoyable movies overall.

Godzilla vs. Hedorah is a one of a kind blend between Godzilla and the counterculture movement. It's like an art house film with giant monsters fighting. Somewhere between the trippy acid rock music and the animated sequences, the film manages to be enjoyable and weird at the same time. The film is significantly darker than recent entires in the series as well. Godzilla vs. Hedorah actually shows people dying at the hands of the monsters rather than implying the fact. It's a little bit jarring but amazingly effective. The monster design is good and bad at the same time. Hedorah is distinctive and interesting, but his huge eyes give the monster a fairly silly feeling. The flying version of Hedorah is also not the most appealing of designs. Where Godzilla vs. Hedorah really succeeds though is in it's pacing. The film starts off quickly and the tension is always high. This is mostly a movie about the monsters. The people are just struggling to keep up and stay alive. Lastly, this is the first Godzilla movie, since the original, that I would actually say has decent production values. The film just looks so much better than the other entires in the series. Everything from effects to cinematography is a step above the previous chunk of films.

Godzilla vs. Hedorah is certainly one of my favorite entires in the series and one that I was absolutely surprised by. A film with the title Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster does't sound like it would be good, but I was happy to be wrong. The movie is exciting, well made and, most of all, different from the other movies in the series. It has singlehandedly revived my passion for watching the series and it's a Godzilla film that I can recommend to anyone who enjoys monster films. It's everything you want from Godzilla.

6/10

A Hard Day's Night (1964)

The spiritual prequel to From Justin to Kelly.

Blah Blah Blah The Beatles. Blah Blah Blah they were popular or something. The simple fact is that I don't really care about The Beatles. I understand their influence and such, but I just don't get excited for their music in the same way that others do. I certainly enjoy some of their songs, but a lot of their music, especially their early work, is boring to me. A Hard Day's Night is entertaining, but it feels more like a museum piece than anything else.

Four dudes with bad haircuts get chased by girls. I'm not exactly sure why they're running in the first place. The Beatles star as themselves in a comedic romp through a nondescript place full of foaming fan girls. The film was a smash success in it's time and has endured because of the charisma  of it's leading men and the nostalgia that goes along with their music. The film was even nominated for two Academy Awards, Best Screenplay and Best Score, but won neither of them. The movie persists still as a time-capsule of a certain mania that took over the world, but seems awfully strange to my modern mind.

Even with a solid script and The Beatles surprisingly natural charisma, I found it difficult to enjoy A Hard Day's Night.  It has some fantastic moments, mostly one-liners that are laugh out loud funny, but in general I don't see what all the fuss is about. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the appeal in watching these guys be "themselves" on camera for an hour and a half. Some of the musical interludes are nice, but a lot of the songs are the early Beatle's junk that I just can't stomach. I will say that it was interesting to observe some of the hysteria, but it didn't quite make the movie worthwhile to me. An argument can be made that A Hard Day's Night deserves a place in the film watching cannon just because it so perfectly encapsulates an era, but I found it to be a fairly trivial and forgettable experience. I'm sure it's a must see for Beatles fans, but otherwise it's pretty unremarkable.

6/10

All Monsters Attack (1969)

The short shorts on a prepubescent boys was apparently a huge problem in Japan.

When I embarked on my mission to watch every Godzilla film, I knew there would be moments that it became difficult. They can't all be winners right? All Monsters Attack might be the biggest looser in the entire series. The movie is clearly aimed at children, but not in a tactful or appealing way, which makes it an absolute chore to watch for an adult.

All Monsters Attack has nothing to do with Godzilla. Seriously nothing. A young japanese boy who is being bullied, imagines that he can visit monster island and make friends with Godzilla and his son Manilla. Manilla sounds exactly like Barney and through the monsters the boy learns to be brave and to stand up to his bullies. This is one of the least successful films in the series financially and a absolute bomb for Godzilla originator Ishiro Honda.

Other than the fact Godzilla isn't real and never steps of monster island, the biggest problem with this movie is the fact that it uses literally 20 minutes of stock footage from previous films. I really never wanted to see Godzilla fight the giant crab again, but here it is just in case one time wasn't bad enough. While I get that the movie is a kids movie, there is just no excuse for the poor writing here. Everything is dumbed down to a level that makes my head throb and if I never have to watch All Monsters Attack again, I will be thankful.

2/10

Papillon (1973)

Never trust a nun.

Living in the land between classic and complete obscurity, it's hard to know what to expect from Papillon. It stars a pair of bona-fied stars, but that's not a guarantee of quality. Like the film itself, watching Papillon is kind of an adventure. What you'll find in the movie are some very good performances and a generally exciting movie that, at times, feels more like an adventure movie than a prison drama.

Papillon is the, sort of, true story of a man imprisoned in French Guiana for a crime he may or may not have committed. He's a tough guy, even though the tatoo of a butterfly on his chest doesn't exactly give that image, and the only thing on his mind is escaping. Papillon, Steve McQueen, befriends the insanely rich prisoner Louis Dega, Dustin Hoffman, who has keestered enough money to underwrite several escape attempts. Those attempts are met with varying levels of success as the two fall effortlessly in love. The film was nominated for a pair of Academy Awards, one for the music and one for McQueen's performance, but it won neither. The film has remained a sort of cult classic over the years even though it has received generally good reviews.

Papillon is at times a really thrilling movie, but it also suffers from some major dull spots. The prison drama, especially in Papillon's first term of solitary confinement is really great. This early section of film, due in a large part to McQueen's excellent performance, is a big reason why the movie is remembered. This section is how the movie begins and I found myself hooked enough by it that I continued watching even when the film started to get dull. The dullness is caused by a combination of pacing a story issues. After the second escape, which is legitamately exciting, Papillon ends up in Honduras. That's when things get confusing. The escapees are noticed on the beach and Papillon flees leaving his friends to go knows what fate. He is given copious amounts of cocaine and he finds himself in a village full of beautiful topless women. Nothing about this section of film makes sense and it feels more like a vivid fantasy than an actual plot event. It's confusing and dull as far as I am concerned. The movie is only two and a half hours long, but it feels more like three. There is just such a stark contrast between the movie's strengths and weaknesses that it's easy to notice both in a viewing.

In the grand scheme of prison films, Papillon has a place. It may not be the best movie on the subject matter, or the most memorable, but the film is certainly enjoyable. In particular, the friendship that grows between the men feels really genuine and it's satisfying to watch. It's hard to say if Papillon deserves to be on this list, but it's good enough not to argue with it's inclusion. I would rather watch The Shawshank Redemption any time of the week, but Papillon was not a total dissappointment. The film deserves a little more exposure than it recieves and it is definatly worth watching.

7/10

Double Indemnity (1944)

Old fashion kissing was more akin to a head butt than a smooch.

Film Noir is a genre that, like it's darkly lit scenes, is shrouded in mystery. Somewhere between the cinephile's elitism, the common man's ignorance and the scholar's overly complex definition lies the truth. While I may not be an expert on the subject, I feel like Double Indemnity might be the right place to start looking. I have great respect for the film, but Double Indemnity isn't exactly my idea of thrilling cinema. While the film is probably the quintessential Film Noir, that bodes poorly, in my eyes, for the genre.

Let's make this simple. A particularly nasty bitch dupes an insurance salesman into helping her off her husband to commit insurance fraud. Things go poorly. Nothing more than that needs to be said. The film stars Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck in the leading roles and is written and directed by Billy Wilder. The film was generally well received in it's time and has gone on to become a critic and fan favorite. It was nominated for 7 Academy Awards, including Best Picture and Best Director, in 1945, but didn't win any. The film generally makes lists of greatest american movies and is considered to be one of the most important Film Noirs ever made. While the movie is undoubtedly important, it didn't exactly wow me.

It's hard to put my finger on why I didn't love Double Indemnity, but a few things stick out as places to start looking. I didn't find any of the characters terribly compelling and the movie felt significantly longer than it really was. The characters, while well portrayed, just didn't interest me. Our main characters feel quite unmotivated overall. I don't buy into Walter being so in love with Phyllis immediately that he would agree to kill her husband. Maybe if they had a torrid affair first, which the production code of the time would have prevented anyway, I would have believed it a little more. While this might not be the movies fault, I can't let it slide entirely. The other issue I had was pacing. Wilder tends to make movies with a slower pace, but this time it bothered me a lot more for some reason. These things said, Wilder's direction is excellent and there are moments of brilliance in the dialog that keep the movie afloat despite the problems.

Double Indemnity is a movie that deserves to be on a list of movie to see. It's a highly influential work and one that isn't a total disappointment to watch. While my preference may lie with Wilder's comedies, Double Indemnity is still a pleasant viewing experience. I'm not an expert on the subject of Film Noir, but my experience has led me to the opinion that I prefer Neo-Noir films, such as Chinatown, greatly to the older movies. This may just be my inexperience with the genre talking, but only time will tell.

7/10